My bosses dog loves me.
This is me, near the summit of Mt. Cardigan.
The groundhog did predict 6 more weeks of winter...
I don't know if Maureen knows I took this picture, but I like the way it turned out.
I get bored with fire at work easily.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Mat Ryan: Jan 30, 31, February 1, 2.
I've been gone a while! Spent to much time in the woods lately... anyways, here's a bunch of pics, from Mt. Cardigan, my bosses house, my friend Kerry's house, etc.
My bosses dog loves me.
This is me, near the summit of Mt. Cardigan.
The groundhog did predict 6 more weeks of winter...
I don't know if Maureen knows I took this picture, but I like the way it turned out.
I get bored with fire at work easily.
My bosses dog loves me.
This is me, near the summit of Mt. Cardigan.
The groundhog did predict 6 more weeks of winter...
I don't know if Maureen knows I took this picture, but I like the way it turned out.
I get bored with fire at work easily.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Jet lagged and hungover
I'm home, well, I'm here. I don't know if I'll really be able to call this home again, because I'm already unsettled again. I'm happier now than I was before I left, I have a new outlook on life, I feel refreshed, but I really am very restless here.
I rode the bus to Boston almost 30 days ago, I was extremely excited, extremely nervous, I had a plethora of emotions and I was honestly searching for the importance of "goodbye". It was just a word to me. A word that meant everything you know about someone was the past, unsure of when in the future you would see them, if you would ever see them again, and then you get on with your life and they get on with theres and if you're lucky you get to swap stories.
I got onto a plane at night and sat next to a beautiful blonde German girl that would have given me a place to stay in Munich after hearing what I was planning on doing. I never made it to Munich, but this was a great way for me to start to open up. I was killing my social anxiety, I was being more open with strangers, talking about my life, sharing more than most of my friends actually know about me.
I went to Frankfurt am Main first and couchsurfed. I had my own bed in an extra room of an apartment, I had someone trust me enough after talking to me for 15 minutes to give me the keys to her apartment. She bought me food, we drank tea, we talked, I attempted to learn some Deustch, at least "hello, thank you, you're welcome." Her co-worker Kevin told me where to go clubbing, I stayed out until 4 am, and visited Steph at work,shared my stories from the first night.
I rode trains, a lot of trains, and I always tried to sit facing backwards on the trains. I was watching the past fade into the distance while the future snuck up on me from behind. I only knew what was in the past. The future didn't matter. I had no plan, there was nothing I needed to do, and nothing in the future was 100% certain. I lived for the experience of not knowing. Socrates said, "one thing only I know, and that is I know nothing". I could relate.
I wanted to go to London, but couldn't. I ended up in Scotland, and I'm glad I did. I wouldn't trade my 2 days in Scotland for anything in the world. The rain, the smell, the sights, having my feet ripped apart by my sandals, it was all real. It was the first time on the trip that didn't feel surreal, didn't feel like a movie, didn't go like I had planned. Instead, it was better, and I enjoyed the unexpected.
I went to Ireland, I drank with Germans and Italians, Canadians and Americans, Aussies, and I really don't know if I even met one Irish person. I wrote before, I didn't want to leave Dublin. It was exspensive, touristy, and as I said, I hated it at first, I almost didn't go to Rome, I almost turned around, I hoped my flight was cancelled and I just wanted to go back to Cork or anywhere and get a job and stay and not leave because I found what I thought I was looking for. I planned the flight to Rome far in advance. It was the only thing I really planned, and I regretted it for a moment, it was part of a future that I could see, and I didn't want to. I wanted to be blind from the future.
I took the flight to Rome anyways. I gave a banana and a beer to a homeless kid that didn't look older than 17 because that's what I had, it was what I could afford to give him, I was almost out of cash at that point anyways. I couldn't get into the Vatican. I didn't have enough time, or money, to really enjoy the touristy things of Rome, so I did what the locals did. I drank beer and ate chestnuts on the Spanish steps, I drank bottles of wine and ate pasta with Aussies and Germans and Italians (seriously, half the population of Australia is in Europe it seems). I went to Florence, unnanounced, stayed at the best hostel I had ever stayed at (if you're in Florence find Emerald Fields, it's a little dirty but has a great vibe going on). I saw Colin and Ally and her friends, and I liked it. I didn't want to leave, but I was overdrafted and had to take a night train to Zurich, since all my train rides were paid for.
The film festival was in Zurich. I didn't know this. I had no place to stay. Everything was booked. I walked around the entire city, looked for a place to stay, took the train and sat by the lake, fed the ducks and the swans and ate grapes and cheese and bread by the water alone, I carried my 16 kilo pack around the entire time, and after being in Zurich 12 hours, walking 10 miles or so, still slightly sick, I had a bed in an attic to sleep on and it was the best nights sleep of my life.
I didn't know what was happening in Zurich, so I made reservations for a hostel in Vienna. I took the train to Vienna, on a perfect day, and had a 6 person cabin in a train to myself. I folded up the arms of the seat, and watched the alps go past through the window listening only to the sound of the train, a melodic hum more than a click clack, at the foot of the mountains were pastures with cows and kids running around and I thought it looked like heaven, part of me had died and I was reborn and apparently I lived a good life because this was heaven, I saw the snow covered peaks disapear slowly with the orange sun setting behind them, until more and more it faded away.
I was in Vienna, at a hostel with no personality, in a 6 person mixed dorm room it was only me and another girl. She was a student, had nothing to do, we toured the city the next day, and it was Vienna. I was out of money and I was looking at the future, realized I was going home, and became very depressed, so I probably wasn't the best company then.
And to keep the story going I went back to Frankfurt, with Steph and Erik, and accidentally stole the extra set of keys from Steph. Oops. But I mailed them back.
I have 3 pages of e-mail addresses, foreign phone numbers, names, scribbles, memories, hostel directions, all from people that I met on trains, planes, hostels, bars; some people I know I'll see again, others I just hope to contact again. I traveled alone, and would do it again, alone. I met an Aussie girl, Sarah, that was traveling alone as well, without any issues except for one she mentioned in Morrocco.
When I got back here I heard a lot of people tell me they were envious of me, that I must have big balls, etc... I did the trip for $3200 USD including a plane ticket, a backpack, and an overdraft, and I'm confident I could do it for less a second time around.
Don't be envious of me. I'm not bragging, I'm trying to provide inspiration for anyone that wants to do the same thing or something similar. Take from this what you can.
-Mat
I rode the bus to Boston almost 30 days ago, I was extremely excited, extremely nervous, I had a plethora of emotions and I was honestly searching for the importance of "goodbye". It was just a word to me. A word that meant everything you know about someone was the past, unsure of when in the future you would see them, if you would ever see them again, and then you get on with your life and they get on with theres and if you're lucky you get to swap stories.
I got onto a plane at night and sat next to a beautiful blonde German girl that would have given me a place to stay in Munich after hearing what I was planning on doing. I never made it to Munich, but this was a great way for me to start to open up. I was killing my social anxiety, I was being more open with strangers, talking about my life, sharing more than most of my friends actually know about me.
I went to Frankfurt am Main first and couchsurfed. I had my own bed in an extra room of an apartment, I had someone trust me enough after talking to me for 15 minutes to give me the keys to her apartment. She bought me food, we drank tea, we talked, I attempted to learn some Deustch, at least "hello, thank you, you're welcome." Her co-worker Kevin told me where to go clubbing, I stayed out until 4 am, and visited Steph at work,shared my stories from the first night.
I rode trains, a lot of trains, and I always tried to sit facing backwards on the trains. I was watching the past fade into the distance while the future snuck up on me from behind. I only knew what was in the past. The future didn't matter. I had no plan, there was nothing I needed to do, and nothing in the future was 100% certain. I lived for the experience of not knowing. Socrates said, "one thing only I know, and that is I know nothing". I could relate.
I wanted to go to London, but couldn't. I ended up in Scotland, and I'm glad I did. I wouldn't trade my 2 days in Scotland for anything in the world. The rain, the smell, the sights, having my feet ripped apart by my sandals, it was all real. It was the first time on the trip that didn't feel surreal, didn't feel like a movie, didn't go like I had planned. Instead, it was better, and I enjoyed the unexpected.
I went to Ireland, I drank with Germans and Italians, Canadians and Americans, Aussies, and I really don't know if I even met one Irish person. I wrote before, I didn't want to leave Dublin. It was exspensive, touristy, and as I said, I hated it at first, I almost didn't go to Rome, I almost turned around, I hoped my flight was cancelled and I just wanted to go back to Cork or anywhere and get a job and stay and not leave because I found what I thought I was looking for. I planned the flight to Rome far in advance. It was the only thing I really planned, and I regretted it for a moment, it was part of a future that I could see, and I didn't want to. I wanted to be blind from the future.
I took the flight to Rome anyways. I gave a banana and a beer to a homeless kid that didn't look older than 17 because that's what I had, it was what I could afford to give him, I was almost out of cash at that point anyways. I couldn't get into the Vatican. I didn't have enough time, or money, to really enjoy the touristy things of Rome, so I did what the locals did. I drank beer and ate chestnuts on the Spanish steps, I drank bottles of wine and ate pasta with Aussies and Germans and Italians (seriously, half the population of Australia is in Europe it seems). I went to Florence, unnanounced, stayed at the best hostel I had ever stayed at (if you're in Florence find Emerald Fields, it's a little dirty but has a great vibe going on). I saw Colin and Ally and her friends, and I liked it. I didn't want to leave, but I was overdrafted and had to take a night train to Zurich, since all my train rides were paid for.
The film festival was in Zurich. I didn't know this. I had no place to stay. Everything was booked. I walked around the entire city, looked for a place to stay, took the train and sat by the lake, fed the ducks and the swans and ate grapes and cheese and bread by the water alone, I carried my 16 kilo pack around the entire time, and after being in Zurich 12 hours, walking 10 miles or so, still slightly sick, I had a bed in an attic to sleep on and it was the best nights sleep of my life.
I didn't know what was happening in Zurich, so I made reservations for a hostel in Vienna. I took the train to Vienna, on a perfect day, and had a 6 person cabin in a train to myself. I folded up the arms of the seat, and watched the alps go past through the window listening only to the sound of the train, a melodic hum more than a click clack, at the foot of the mountains were pastures with cows and kids running around and I thought it looked like heaven, part of me had died and I was reborn and apparently I lived a good life because this was heaven, I saw the snow covered peaks disapear slowly with the orange sun setting behind them, until more and more it faded away.
I was in Vienna, at a hostel with no personality, in a 6 person mixed dorm room it was only me and another girl. She was a student, had nothing to do, we toured the city the next day, and it was Vienna. I was out of money and I was looking at the future, realized I was going home, and became very depressed, so I probably wasn't the best company then.
And to keep the story going I went back to Frankfurt, with Steph and Erik, and accidentally stole the extra set of keys from Steph. Oops. But I mailed them back.
I have 3 pages of e-mail addresses, foreign phone numbers, names, scribbles, memories, hostel directions, all from people that I met on trains, planes, hostels, bars; some people I know I'll see again, others I just hope to contact again. I traveled alone, and would do it again, alone. I met an Aussie girl, Sarah, that was traveling alone as well, without any issues except for one she mentioned in Morrocco.
When I got back here I heard a lot of people tell me they were envious of me, that I must have big balls, etc... I did the trip for $3200 USD including a plane ticket, a backpack, and an overdraft, and I'm confident I could do it for less a second time around.
Don't be envious of me. I'm not bragging, I'm trying to provide inspiration for anyone that wants to do the same thing or something similar. Take from this what you can.
-Mat
Saturday, September 27, 2008
walking
is all ive fucking done today i swear and im kind of sick and really tired i mean i was passing out when i tried to get a pass for the night train to vienna but i couldnt get a night train to vieanna because that part of the program was closed so the woman told me to just hope that there was a spot open but i really need sleep and have you ever tried to sleep on a night train i mean sleeping on a regular train thats fine you are expecting that 1 to 3 hour blackout kind of like a plane except sometimes you meet a complete stranger and talk for 6 hours straight thats what happened in berlin to amsterdam but last night sucked and i had wierd dreams and theres something that brought me here to zurich and i dont know what it is i havnt found it yet someone offered me their attic and i think i might take it because well i need sleep and im so sick of walking and if im sick of walking in the streets im sure ill be sick of sleeping in the streets come morning but at least the street wont be moving not like a train and i do need to stay longer i need to find what brought me here i need sleep i need a shower i need nothing but my health in all actuality that is all i need and i dont want to come home but today the lack of sleep the sickness and being alone and talking to one person at a train station for 15 minutes does tend to make you a little lonelz but time is up i need to post this beforee i lose it all
dont lose it all
INDIE MOVIE SCENE OF THE DAY
guy came up to me when i was fucking around with my locker at the train station explaining that he was an artist helping tourists so he helped me out and whistled and he could whistle 3 tones simoultaneously and i was impressed. almost went to see him by the lake last night but i was cold and sick and za, i like the za a little more than the ya, but that could be because im in switzerland anyways im out.
(ok, i wrote that last night, ill write what i really think now)
and after a full nights sleep or at least 7 hours in an attic of a guy i met last night on a really comfortable matress after drinking wine and talking about my trip and his trip and mountains and relationships i feel a lot better, about 10 fold from what i wrote last night the uncertainty is gone and i head to vienna in 4 hours and heidleberg to see fiona and then up to frankfurt to see stephanie and im excited to be back in germany and back with fiona and to see vienna but i have no idea whats in vienna but i am kind of glad i came to zurich instead of going to venice but ill explain it all later in the end.
indie movie scene of the day
well it could be right now as im writing and thinking about relationships while listening to borne on the fm waves of the heart by against me but anyways i could put this song to something that happened in the train station when i was getting my reservation to vienna or wien whatever you want to call it there was a goth couple making out when a guy dressed all in white with a yamaka or whatever i think he was jewish but he came over and started talking to them about protection in german and handed them a bunch of condoms, and it was visually and verbally beautiful and i wonder if anyone else saw what i saw but i think my time here is about over, its time for the next experience.
dont lose it all
INDIE MOVIE SCENE OF THE DAY
guy came up to me when i was fucking around with my locker at the train station explaining that he was an artist helping tourists so he helped me out and whistled and he could whistle 3 tones simoultaneously and i was impressed. almost went to see him by the lake last night but i was cold and sick and za, i like the za a little more than the ya, but that could be because im in switzerland anyways im out.
(ok, i wrote that last night, ill write what i really think now)
and after a full nights sleep or at least 7 hours in an attic of a guy i met last night on a really comfortable matress after drinking wine and talking about my trip and his trip and mountains and relationships i feel a lot better, about 10 fold from what i wrote last night the uncertainty is gone and i head to vienna in 4 hours and heidleberg to see fiona and then up to frankfurt to see stephanie and im excited to be back in germany and back with fiona and to see vienna but i have no idea whats in vienna but i am kind of glad i came to zurich instead of going to venice but ill explain it all later in the end.
indie movie scene of the day
well it could be right now as im writing and thinking about relationships while listening to borne on the fm waves of the heart by against me but anyways i could put this song to something that happened in the train station when i was getting my reservation to vienna or wien whatever you want to call it there was a goth couple making out when a guy dressed all in white with a yamaka or whatever i think he was jewish but he came over and started talking to them about protection in german and handed them a bunch of condoms, and it was visually and verbally beautiful and i wonder if anyone else saw what i saw but i think my time here is about over, its time for the next experience.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Something funny happened
on the way to the airport today i was overcome by emotion on the bus and it was something i wasnt expecting i mean i havnt felt emotion in a while at least not emotion of that kind in i dont even know how long and today it was there it was real and it caught me totally off guard i didnt want to come to rome i wanted to stay in ireland something happend there and something i didnt expect happened there and it was crazy i dont know what it was and it wasnt the italian girl even tho we had our fun but it might have been the canadian girl because really she was so damn cute and happy and i dont know she told me she would probably never see me again and i want to prove her wrong on that one but still she walked me to the bus stop which was fantastic and it wasnt until now that i realized that mentally this vacation is over its taking its toll i have a week and a half left and all i want to do is stop moving and stop meeting people and stop opening up and talking talking talking and being myself because i dont know if ill ever see them again in two days dont get me wrong i love the fact that im out here that im in rome that im doing something to get out of my comfort zone but i just cant wait to stop for a week and i know after 2 weeks of being home my point of view will change and ill be back to where i was and ill start looking for jobs over here and who knows what the fuck will happen but i know its me im weird im fucked up but you know that i just think i want to be back in cork or edinburgh and just chill just stop just find a job and stop moving and keep people in my life for more than 2 days or make out with a girl and see her more than twice in a week or actually sleep next to someone instead of in a room with five other people but really im having fun and i have learned a lot about myself from this trip its not a negative post just emotions that i didnt expect to feel but im glad im feeling them and its time for another night to drunkenly fall asleep alone in a room with five other people because thats what i do.
the end.
the end.
Something funny happened
today on the bus from dublin to the airport i was overcome with emotion and i really am not sure if it was because i was so sad to leave dublin which would be funny because i hated dublin when i first got there but actually i think it was because somewhere in the back of my mind i didnt think i would get back there and ireland is a magical place and does things to people and i dont know its just wierd its all wierd maybe its because i didnt do enough in dublin or did to much i mean i was at the bar last night and was with a canadian girl and the italian girl came in and drank more jameson in 15 min than i have ever before but i really liked the canadian girl she was really nice and friendly like all canadians and she even walked me to the bus today and that could be one of the reasons that i felt emotion i almost didnt board the plane i almost ran back to the bus i almost did something other than what i planned but this is the only thing i planned on the trip and i feel like it is almost a mistake i think its the people because i dont care to much about sites i mean some are fine but im not a site seeing person i actually prefer to meet people which is wierd because im not an extremely social person at home i think i get sick of people if im around them to long and who knows im in rome and i didnt come here with the best attitude so im going to see it by night in the rain.
funny thing is that ireland loved me it didnt rain at all when i was outside it was sunny for 4 days straight i got sunburnt in fucking ireland and no where else and i think i have to go back i dont think its a matter of want as its a matter of need.
(original post before computer crashed..)
funny thing is that ireland loved me it didnt rain at all when i was outside it was sunny for 4 days straight i got sunburnt in fucking ireland and no where else and i think i have to go back i dont think its a matter of want as its a matter of need.
(original post before computer crashed..)
Saturday, September 20, 2008
In the words of
Mac Lethal, the kisses taste like alcohol that's how you know it's love.
I really didn't want to leave Cork yesterday, I was really enjoying the quaint city after 2 nights, met some awesome people, fun people, and I met one Irish person in Cork, the rest were German which seems to be a pretty common theme for this trip and I really have to laugh at the fact that I was in an Irish pub in Cork as the only American surrounded by Germans, once again.
I was walking down the street to the bus station and there was a man playing piano, on the street, just very smooth, slow, almost jazzy piano, reminded me a lot of Tom Waits stile, and as I kept walking I heard a man on another instrument, not a flute, I think it's called an elbow whistle but I'm not sure. The man on piano was behind me, the man playing the wind instrument was to my right, almost equal distances away, and I stopped and listened to both songs, both different, both clashed beautifully, and neither of the musicians knew it. Just a random anomoly, obscured by the rushed lifestyle of city life, passed up by so many.
I spent 6 hours on a bus and the bus driver was listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for the first 3. I don't feel like I need to say more than this, other than I really needed to get off that damn bus and as I entered Dublin I was excited and a little lost but happy to be on the bus then scared because I don't tend to like large cities but I found the hostel, talked to the man behind the counter who just happened to be from California so we went out for drinks and he showed me a bar and the night ended when I caught eye contact with her and smiled, and she laughed, and we danced, and got closer, and danced through the night, drinking, kissing, and I didn't even know her name until I walked her home. So we laughed again, and kissed again, and even without the music we danced again in the street and that was my first 5 hours in Dublin. Let's see what's next.
I really didn't want to leave Cork yesterday, I was really enjoying the quaint city after 2 nights, met some awesome people, fun people, and I met one Irish person in Cork, the rest were German which seems to be a pretty common theme for this trip and I really have to laugh at the fact that I was in an Irish pub in Cork as the only American surrounded by Germans, once again.
I was walking down the street to the bus station and there was a man playing piano, on the street, just very smooth, slow, almost jazzy piano, reminded me a lot of Tom Waits stile, and as I kept walking I heard a man on another instrument, not a flute, I think it's called an elbow whistle but I'm not sure. The man on piano was behind me, the man playing the wind instrument was to my right, almost equal distances away, and I stopped and listened to both songs, both different, both clashed beautifully, and neither of the musicians knew it. Just a random anomoly, obscured by the rushed lifestyle of city life, passed up by so many.
I spent 6 hours on a bus and the bus driver was listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for the first 3. I don't feel like I need to say more than this, other than I really needed to get off that damn bus and as I entered Dublin I was excited and a little lost but happy to be on the bus then scared because I don't tend to like large cities but I found the hostel, talked to the man behind the counter who just happened to be from California so we went out for drinks and he showed me a bar and the night ended when I caught eye contact with her and smiled, and she laughed, and we danced, and got closer, and danced through the night, drinking, kissing, and I didn't even know her name until I walked her home. So we laughed again, and kissed again, and even without the music we danced again in the street and that was my first 5 hours in Dublin. Let's see what's next.
Friday, September 19, 2008
It is called
dissasociation. The point in time where the life that you lived before vacation no longer matters. Where you can't even relate.
time to drink!
time to drink!
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