walking

is all ive fucking done today i swear and im kind of sick and really tired i mean i was passing out when i tried to get a pass for the night train to vienna but i couldnt get a night train to vieanna because that part of the program was closed so the woman told me to just hope that there was a spot open but i really need sleep and have you ever tried to sleep on a night train i mean sleeping on a regular train thats fine you are expecting that 1 to 3 hour blackout kind of like a plane except sometimes you meet a complete stranger and talk for 6 hours straight thats what happened in berlin to amsterdam but last night sucked and i had wierd dreams and theres something that brought me here to zurich and i dont know what it is i havnt found it yet someone offered me their attic and i think i might take it because well i need sleep and im so sick of walking and if im sick of walking in the streets im sure ill be sick of sleeping in the streets come morning but at least the street wont be moving not like a train and i do need to stay longer i need to find what brought me here i need sleep i need a shower i need nothing but my health in all actuality that is all i need and i dont want to come home but today the lack of sleep the sickness and being alone and talking to one person at a train station for 15 minutes does tend to make you a little lonelz but time is up i need to post this beforee i lose it all
dont lose it all
INDIE MOVIE SCENE OF THE DAY
guy came up to me when i was fucking around with my locker at the train station explaining that he was an artist helping tourists so he helped me out and whistled and he could whistle 3 tones simoultaneously and i was impressed. almost went to see him by the lake last night but i was cold and sick and za, i like the za a little more than the ya, but that could be because im in switzerland anyways im out.

(ok, i wrote that last night, ill write what i really think now)

and after a full nights sleep or at least 7 hours in an attic of a guy i met last night on a really comfortable matress after drinking wine and talking about my trip and his trip and mountains and relationships i feel a lot better, about 10 fold from what i wrote last night the uncertainty is gone and i head to vienna in 4 hours and heidleberg to see fiona and then up to frankfurt to see stephanie and im excited to be back in germany and back with fiona and to see vienna but i have no idea whats in vienna but i am kind of glad i came to zurich instead of going to venice but ill explain it all later in the end.
indie movie scene of the day
well it could be right now as im writing and thinking about relationships while listening to borne on the fm waves of the heart by against me but anyways i could put this song to something that happened in the train station when i was getting my reservation to vienna or wien whatever you want to call it there was a goth couple making out when a guy dressed all in white with a yamaka or whatever i think he was jewish but he came over and started talking to them about protection in german and handed them a bunch of condoms, and it was visually and verbally beautiful and i wonder if anyone else saw what i saw but i think my time here is about over, its time for the next experience.

Something funny happened

on the way to the airport today i was overcome by emotion on the bus and it was something i wasnt expecting i mean i havnt felt emotion in a while at least not emotion of that kind in i dont even know how long and today it was there it was real and it caught me totally off guard i didnt want to come to rome i wanted to stay in ireland something happend there and something i didnt expect happened there and it was crazy i dont know what it was and it wasnt the italian girl even tho we had our fun but it might have been the canadian girl because really she was so damn cute and happy and i dont know she told me she would probably never see me again and i want to prove her wrong on that one but still she walked me to the bus stop which was fantastic and it wasnt until now that i realized that mentally this vacation is over its taking its toll i have a week and a half left and all i want to do is stop moving and stop meeting people and stop opening up and talking talking talking and being myself because i dont know if ill ever see them again in two days dont get me wrong i love the fact that im out here that im in rome that im doing something to get out of my comfort zone but i just cant wait to stop for a week and i know after 2 weeks of being home my point of view will change and ill be back to where i was and ill start looking for jobs over here and who knows what the fuck will happen but i know its me im weird im fucked up but you know that i just think i want to be back in cork or edinburgh and just chill just stop just find a job and stop moving and keep people in my life for more than 2 days or make out with a girl and see her more than twice in a week or actually sleep next to someone instead of in a room with five other people but really im having fun and i have learned a lot about myself from this trip its not a negative post just emotions that i didnt expect to feel but im glad im feeling them and its time for another night to drunkenly fall asleep alone in a room with five other people because thats what i do.
the end.

Something funny happened

today on the bus from dublin to the airport i was overcome with emotion and i really am not sure if it was because i was so sad to leave dublin which would be funny because i hated dublin when i first got there but actually i think it was because somewhere in the back of my mind i didnt think i would get back there and ireland is a magical place and does things to people and i dont know its just wierd its all wierd maybe its because i didnt do enough in dublin or did to much i mean i was at the bar last night and was with a canadian girl and the italian girl came in and drank more jameson in 15 min than i have ever before but i really liked the canadian girl she was really nice and friendly like all canadians and she even walked me to the bus today and that could be one of the reasons that i felt emotion i almost didnt board the plane i almost ran back to the bus i almost did something other than what i planned but this is the only thing i planned on the trip and i feel like it is almost a mistake i think its the people because i dont care to much about sites i mean some are fine but im not a site seeing person i actually prefer to meet people which is wierd because im not an extremely social person at home i think i get sick of people if im around them to long and who knows im in rome and i didnt come here with the best attitude so im going to see it by night in the rain.
funny thing is that ireland loved me it didnt rain at all when i was outside it was sunny for 4 days straight i got sunburnt in fucking ireland and no where else and i think i have to go back i dont think its a matter of want as its a matter of need.

(original post before computer crashed..)

In the words of

Mac Lethal, the kisses taste like alcohol that's how you know it's love.
I really didn't want to leave Cork yesterday, I was really enjoying the quaint city after 2 nights, met some awesome people, fun people, and I met one Irish person in Cork, the rest were German which seems to be a pretty common theme for this trip and I really have to laugh at the fact that I was in an Irish pub in Cork as the only American surrounded by Germans, once again.
I was walking down the street to the bus station and there was a man playing piano, on the street, just very smooth, slow, almost jazzy piano, reminded me a lot of Tom Waits stile, and as I kept walking I heard a man on another instrument, not a flute, I think it's called an elbow whistle but I'm not sure. The man on piano was behind me, the man playing the wind instrument was to my right, almost equal distances away, and I stopped and listened to both songs, both different, both clashed beautifully, and neither of the musicians knew it. Just a random anomoly, obscured by the rushed lifestyle of city life, passed up by so many.
I spent 6 hours on a bus and the bus driver was listening to Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers for the first 3. I don't feel like I need to say more than this, other than I really needed to get off that damn bus and as I entered Dublin I was excited and a little lost but happy to be on the bus then scared because I don't tend to like large cities but I found the hostel, talked to the man behind the counter who just happened to be from California so we went out for drinks and he showed me a bar and the night ended when I caught eye contact with her and smiled, and she laughed, and we danced, and got closer, and danced through the night, drinking, kissing, and I didn't even know her name until I walked her home. So we laughed again, and kissed again, and even without the music we danced again in the street and that was my first 5 hours in Dublin. Let's see what's next.

It is called

dissasociation. The point in time where the life that you lived before vacation no longer matters. Where you can't even relate.


time to drink!

The rocky road to Dublin

really isn't that rocky but that probably has to do with all the road construction. The bus ride from Cork took about 6 hours, the second longest ride of the journey. Yeah, Ireland is nice and all, but outside the city it kind of looks like a combination of Iowa, Vermont, and, umm, maybe the coast of Main, and Kinsale really reminded me of Rhode Island. We'll see how Dublin goes for the next 2 nights.
Scotland was a lot of fun. I will not incriminate myself with what happened in Scotland. Let's just say it's a beautiful country.
This is just confirmation that I'm alive, I need to find a place to stay. Maybe I'll find another German girl because they seem to be the best hosts in every country.

God bless America

and fuck the rest of the world. I mean this sarcastically, of course.
Today I was pretty pissed off for the start. I got to the train station and tried to get a ticket to London, not realizing the chunnel was still closed from that fire a while ago. Kind of wish I knew that. So I went to the airport, searched for tickets, got one to Glasgow, and then started my day.
I didn't think I would get to Scotland, but now I'm kind of forced to. It makes me happy in a way, since I didn't care for London to much, but thought I had to, and thought that I would have to miss seeing Scotland to reach my deadline. Now I realize that, well, fuck England. I'm an American patriot damnit, so fuck England! Go Scotland! YEAH!
After booking my flight I walked through the Botaniq Gardens, which is some other word in Flemish, the native tongue of the people here. It's not quite French, it isn't quite Dutch, it's just fucking Flemish. Anyways, I was walking through, thinking how nice it would to be getting stoned in the park and just enjoying nature and taking the time to take pictures of the spiders, and then I got hit by a chestnut, and I was still irritated that I wasn't in London, and fuck nature. I'm a product of a society and a world that destroys nature, I'm more powerful than nature, I'm at the top of the fucking food chain, fuck nature.
I went to the gorcery store, got some bread, cheese, wine and chocolate and thought about how awesome it was that I could eat bread, and cheese, and drink wine, and eat chocolate right in the middle of a touristy spot, feeling like complete euro trash and taking in everything and washing away my worries with a beautiful Bordeux that cost 2 euro and I got my buzz on, and heard music. Rock music from a band, not a cd, not from speakers, but amplifiers, the french lyrics were shot at me from the angst of some barely 20 year olds in the middle of a tunnel, and it was wonderful. Cute French and Belgian euro trash smoking cigarettes drinking beer giving massages in the middle of the street. I never felt more at home.
God bless America, my home, where I come from we tell everyone that sex is bad but violence is ok. Don't fuck, kill. Abstinence is the answer, violence is the question.
Fuck the rest of the world, we need Gods help. Don't make love, kill because that's what we did in the middle ages, because we are on another crusade, because we can't fuck.
On the way back from the band, a girl was playing techno in the back of a Hummer on the streets on Brussels. I walked past, went into the botanic garden, and came across a girl rolling a cigarette on the bench of the park, a girl I recognized from the hostel, she called me over and asked if I wanted to smoke. I took her up on the offer, got stoned with her in the park, listened to her talk to me and to her friends in French, took in everything, the smell the feel the flowers the spiders, everything. It was perfect. It was bliss.
Then a bird shit on her backpack, and her friend, and we left.
Fuck nature.
Go to America, God.
Fuck the rest of the world.

It rains on the zebra

but the stripes never wash away.
Brussels, Bruxelles, whatever you want to call it, is a very, very odd place; a lot of people refer to it as an ugly city but it isnt ugly, theres just an akward juxtaposition between old and new, an attempt to be modern via architecture and clubs with historic, medievel buildings scattered in between. I have not even seen the sun in two days here, a drab city, drab colours, good friets, and as I type this I notice the statue outside the window is made of very large bullet shells. I had this conversation with an Aussie bloke last night, company was a welcome relief to say the least. Cool kid, probably wont see him again, but it was nice to have someone to drink with! €2,00 pints of Maes, which I swear is the Belgian equivalent to PBR, goes down so smoothly qnd makes you so piss. It was a good night.
Dont take this personally, anyone, but Email is really hard, because typing is damn hard, and the internet costs money, and couchsurfing has not been going well and hostels cost money and you see how it goes. Plus I spent 2 nights in Amsterdam.
Amsterdam is a beautiful, fun, hip city, exactly as you can imagine it... There are a lot of coffee shops that dont sell coffee, and its nearly impossible to find a post office, and the police dont tell you where it is if you look like me. All I could find was a box for postcards. Sorry Zach, and Vic, and all the other people that wanted something... I sure as hell wouldnt take bubblegum on the train.
Anyways, time is running out, time to figure out where I am going next.

I was staring out the window

thinking of a title for this blog for 4 minutes, then decided to just give up. The title isn't what actually matters, it's the contents. That being said, I'm starting to write this shortly before 10:00 a.m. when it's probably around 3:00 a.m. on the east coast of the U.S., and when anyone in America starts reading this, I'll probably be on a train from Frankfurt to Berlin. No, I have no idea where I'm going, what I'm doing, or where I'm staying there, but whatever I do I know it will be fun.
So far in Frankfurt I've met a lot of really cool people. Stephanie, the girl I'm staying with has to be one of the nicest people that I have ever met, I can't thank her enough for opening up her apartment, letting me use her shower and computer, and overall just being a great host. I've known her for 2 days, but I'm going to miss her, that's for sure.
My first night here I went out alone, Stephanie had to work at 8:00 a.m., and it was a Saturday, I was jet-lagged, so I did what anyone in my situation would do: I went clubbing, because, well, I like electronic beats, and clubbing, and I'm no where near home, so why the hell not? I got to the club far to early, had far to little cash, met 5 beautiful women, and I think I have a travel partner to Berlin, but I have no idea where I'm going or what I agreed to with a Ukranian girl named Anastasiya. I walked back to Stephanie's alone at 4:00 a.m., and felt completely safe in the streets of Frankfurt. Last night, however, I felt less safe at 10:00 p.m. after being hustled by a prostitute, and yelled at when I refused cocaine when all I wanted to do was walk along the river and take pictures, but never even made it to the river. Tip of advice if you're ever in Frankfurt: if a girl asks if you'll buy her a drink, it'll cost ýou €40,00. You won't get anything either unless you buy a cheap €100,00 bottle of champagne. I spent the equivalent of $60.00 on a beer, and a light grope. I spent less at a club, met more women, and had 2 Thai girls singing "American Boy" in my ears while I got a massage. Moral of the story is go to clubs, not whores. More fun, less money, ends the same.

I love that dirty water

but Boston is not my home.
That being said, I still love this city. Not as much as Denver or Chicago, but it's still one of the few places that I'm unfamiliar with that I feel really comfortable. I've been here slightly less than 24 hours, and I'm very relaxed to say the least. It's not because of the whiskey, I haven't had any since last night after dinner with Roxey and hanging out with Dave talking about well, everything. Dave and I don't shut up. We just sat with a light buzz and a television that was turned off and a laptop that has an Army of Darkness on the background drinking Jameson with a Harpoon Oktoberfest chaser which went really well and it was exactly what I needed.
Roxey is a cool chick, I like her, I was glad I went out to dinner with her last night, and hopefully I'll see her when I get back. She is one of those people that proved to me I can meet anyone randomly, even though she is the one who introduced herself to me. Luckily I have tattoo's, which seem to be a great conversation starter.

Dave had class today, so I did a late breakfast/early lunch with my cousin Bethany at this really swanky restauraunt in Harvard square. I walked there, since I only have one or two more rides on my Charlie card and I like walking, especially when class is in session at all the colleges down here and I don't feel to pretentious in a polo while carrying a messenger bag. I'd like to say the walk was scenic, but it's Boston. And Cambridge. And the only thing that was really scenic was the Boston skyline when crossing the BU bridge, immediately followed by a young girl feeding geese in a dirty lot. I kind of felt like I was in a movie. I guess I still do, it doesn't feel like I'm leaving yet even though I leave to go to the T for the final time before I hop on a plane in about 2 hours. This time tomorrow I'll be alone in Frankfurt.
This is real, however. And this post isn't like my normal style of writing. I need caffeine.